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Monday Musings

There are many things that will be thrown at you in life and this brings you with a choice. Do you give up or will you keep on fighting. 
For me at times I've consideried giving up, but it's never an option to me.
I always find the strength and courage to continue fighting and for me it is choosing to be hopeful and positive. Deciding that it's meant to be and that something better will come along.
It has taken me a while to get to this stage and I think it is something you've got to learn.
It's not always easy and sometimes I find myself feeling disappointed and disheartened, but you have to find ways to pull yourself out of it. I usually give myself that day to feel like that, then the next day I jump back.
Ian is a great help in this and reminds me of the positives and why I'm doing what I'm doing. He really is my rock and knowing I have that support makes it easier.
Recently I've found myself feeling a lot like this. I applied for teacher training and unfortunately I didn't get in. I got some great feedback and was told what to work on ready to reapply. At the time I was so upset and felt like my dream was over a little dramatic I know but that's how it felt. I soon realised it wasn't a bad thing and that it meant I had the time to be more prepared and ready.
This has however brought me to worry about what I do now. I need a job as I have bills to pay just like everyone else. I'm applying for lots and I've had interviews, but I'm yet to get a job. It worries me and often makes me panic.
I believe things happen for a reason and that there is a reason for everything.
Which to me means that the right job will come along and I will get a job. I'm choosing to be positive. Of course I'm still going to need and want a job, but it's not something you can force. If it was it would be easy and everyone knows life is definitely not easy. It's there to test you and make you stronger.
I feel extremely blessed and appreciative of everything I have in life. I know I'm lucky and there are people with bigger problems out there, but that's not to say those of us with smaller problems are any less important. I just feel that maybe it's easy to see the problems sometimes and that it can overshadow the good things if we let it. This is why I've decided to start changing the way I think not a massive overhaul, but to think and focus my time on the positives and all the good times however small they are. They are the things that matter and when I let myself worry so much I sometimes feel like I miss those things.
I want to be more in the present and enjoy every moment to the fullest. In turn I hope it will attract more positivity into my life as I have no time for negativity. I already feel it changing me in a sense. I've found myself wanting to try new things and to be a bit more carefree. I just want to do what I love and enjoy it, no matter what anyone thinks and that is how it should be.

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