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Calm Intentions

We are well and truly into 2019 now. What does it hold? I’m not really sure to be honest.

For the first time in a while we don’t really have any plans as such. We have a holiday booked in May but that’s about it. The thing is this first part of the year could hold a lot of answers for us, and with that in mind, we decided to just go with the flow and see where it takes us. 

I didn’t think this bothered me but the night before New Year’s Eve I had a panic. The minute I got into bed my head started racing thinking about the infinite possibilities of the year ahead. Whilst it could be incredibly exciting it also terrifies me. It terrifies me because it’s all unknown it’s up in the air. You’d think for someone who doesn’t like control that this would be a walk in the park. Sadly not. The last few years have had some big plans and things happen so I guess for the first time when I don’t it’s pretty scary. 

Last year I changed jobs, dealt with depression and we bought a house so, thats a lot isn’t it? 

So, why when given the opportunity to be able to relax is it so hard? When I was doing counselling last year I was told that when you make yourself busy to the point where you get no me time that it’s because you’re running away from something. That something was myself. I realised I was so focused on taking care and putting other people first that I forgot about myself. 

Last year became a year where I knew I needed to refocus myself. For the first time I decided to set my intentions out into the world and pick a word. The word would symbolise what I wanted for myself and from the year. That word was NOURISH. I wanted to know that everything I did would nourish me mind, body and soul because well, I needed it. It meant no was said a lot more and whilst I feel like I’ve let people down I know it was necessary. You can’t look after yourself unless you take care of yourself. Usually I would feel guilty and feel like I was being selfish but I don’t think I could be at the point I am now without doing it.

For the most part I did just that and with the help of Ian I feel like I’m back to me.

Now what about this year? This year my word is CALM. 

Calm because after so many busy years I want to dial it back. I want to live in the moment and really enjoy the little things. I sometimes get so carried away that it causes me to worry or panic. I also feel like it might take a little of the fear out of the year. It was also to remind me to find calm in moments when I need it. 

This year I’m going to continue to say no. Thing is I also want to make more time for those I love. 
I want to go on girlie lunches and do Sunday dinners and cosy evenings. I want to do it all but within reason. I want to have a balance. That’s what we all want isn’t it? Well, I know I do and you can too.

Whatever your hopes or intentions are for the year I hope they happen. If it helps try picking a word like me. It really gives you focus and helps to bring you back to what you want. 

So, let's raise and glass to 2019, may it be all we want it to be and more. 

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